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"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Emo Philips.Men just need a place." Billy Crystal "According to a new survey, women feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.They say that women are too judgmental, while, of course, men are just grateful." Robert de Niro There's a new medical crisis. " Dustin Hoffman Finally, one of the all-time best quotes: In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he didn't think there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, "Can I help you with this painting?"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, "that's a big word for a girl of fifteen'." Emo Philips. "I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. "There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.

"Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"."The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Harrods comes out with a ride-on vacuum cleaner." Roseanne."If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." Johnny Carson.Not screaming like all the passengers in her car." Author Unknown."It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers.

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