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Secret grocery dates, religion-specific apps: Dating as a Muslim woman in the Many American Muslims say it’s difficult to accommodate these two distinct.
A new mobile dating app is hoping to fill a void that many Muslims and millennials struggle with: melding Western social norms with cultural expectations found in their homelands. For first- and second-generation Muslims in the U. There are other apps geared toward Muslims on the market, including Minder, Ishqr, Muzmatch and Salaam Swipe, but some of them have a reputation within Muslim circles as hookup apps, Bahawdory said.
In addition to women making the first move on the app, Eshq differs from other online dating apps for its friend finder feature, video uploads and Spotify integration, Bahawdory said. There are also planned Eshq events, with the goal of connecting people who have things in common and similar life goals. A lot of these dating apps and websites are just worried about quantity and not quality. We want to promote women stepping outside of their comfort zone and join the shift of Muslim women speaking out, being self-made, and not standing around like a trophy that is waiting to be swept off her feet.
Bahawdory said she hopes that the fact she is Muslim herself helps earn her the trust of the women using the app. Muslim women, Bahawdory asserted, increasingly want to rely on making the decisions on their own instead of relying on their families. Though demographic research data on the use of dating apps and websites is limited, 61 percent of to year-olds responding to a Statista survey said they have used those services.
In a Pew Research Center survey, 27 percent of to year-olds and 22 percent of to year-olds said they had used dating websites or apps. While women making the first move has previously been seen as taboo, Bahawdory noted, Muslim women are increasingly growing more comfortable taking the initiative in dating, which allows them to not worry about getting a creepy pickup line.
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On a rainy New York night, Chelsa Cheyenne holds onto her peach-colored shayla, a scarf covering all but an inch of her hair, and ducks into a pizzeria in the West Village. The shayla is a recent addition to her wardrobe, a symbol of modesty reflecting her recent conversion to Islam. Cheyenne had just left a mixer hosted at the Islamic Center at New York University, a discreet way to allow single Muslims to meet and potentially form relationships. A riff on the dating app Tinder, this version boasts more than , Muslim users.
Before the first date? How early is too early? New York City offers a buffet of dating options, but the search for a significant other can still be tough for anyone. And for young Muslims trying to balance their desire for love with the expectations of their religion, the dating scene can be even harder. But for young American Muslims, whose parents and grandparents adhered to more traditional and strict family obligations in dating, or had arranged marriages, the pull of familial expectations can be strong.
Canadian sociologist Arshia Zaidi, author of a study of Pakistani women in the United States and Canada, finds that the younger generation has shifted away from the strict family obligations their parents and grandparents may have adhered to.
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One of those names probably looks less familiar than the others, and for good reason. Young Muslim Americans aren’t exactly dominant in the mainstream dating conversation, and that’s because “dating while Muslim” is its own unique, oft-misunderstood reality. And with devout religion comes tradition that doesn’t necessarily mesh with modern dating culture.
Not all young Muslim Americans have serious religious upbringings. Many Muslim women are left torn between a dichotomy of desexualized and hypersexualized narratives tossed at them.
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Using data from the general population in the US, it would seem that these community elders are well within their right to worry. Since , the proportion of married US adults has fallen nearly 20 percentage points, while about half of all adults question the societal value of marriage altogether. Yet, even if Muslims as a whole outpace other comparable groups in marriage rate, the likelihood of being married may vary across key demographics.
Figure 3 dives a bit deeper, revealing differences between American Muslim single men and single women. Since we do not have data from other time periods, it is hard to say whether this has always been the case in the Muslim community or whether these gaps are the result of recent trends. What is clear, however, is though there are more single Muslim men than Muslim women, single Muslim women may struggle to find a spouse as educated or religious as they are.
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